Why does my parents keep siding with my bros?
Just because they r boyz n im a girl?
Am I not as good as they are?
I scored muc more better than my brother(11yrs old tis year) on my streaming
and why he get a gameboy advance catrade and I oni asked for a hug from mum
and she say Im childish!Hey Im unlike my bro oni noe hw to waste $$!!!
He failed bout 2 of his subject but I passed my exams with flying colours!
She said he promised her that he would work hard if she buy the cartrade & she believed it.
(Hey Im not born yesterday)
Ya,he will work hard ON PLAYING GAMEBOY ADVANCE (POKEMON)
Next term he failed 3 subjects(...)

Whenever I bath at late hours and my dad is home I kana caned
My bro did the same but seldom kana caned,WHY?
Coz Im a girl & he is a guy,he can carry on the family line & I cant?

When Im 4yrs old and my dad is sweeping in the bedroom
I ACCIDENTALLY kicked his bolster onto the pile of dust when playing with mum
And he used the broom beat me(sob Im oni a kid)

When Im 6yrs old and walking on the everyday route home with mum
I challenge her who can reach home 1st when we are halfway home
I reached home 1st then she came bac
She made me kneel down and pull my ears in a proper way(And I jz obeyed) for HOURS
She said Im a child and should not run home myself
When my brothers ran about outside on their own(5yrs old and 9yrs old)
She oni made them kneel for LESS then 1hour(as if their knees really have gold)
And they kept fooling around while kneeling down

My art was real excellent in primary school(Can be top10 in my level)
I painted a deer figure and was about to exhibit it in school
My fren lied to the teacher the deer was done by her(she did a different animal)
Everyone knew that it was mine but they said it was hers
Then teacher remembered that I was doing a deer on that day
And return it to me
I try to be a good fren with my frens but they are just like gangster
If I dont fren them by covering up for them then the whole school(almost) will be my enemies
I got a head prefect as my best friend(I nv espect my best friend is a guy and a malay guy)
He is a very good guy He sides with me(most time)
Somehow he is jus a really good guy jus like my big bro
I share secrets with him(bad talkings of the 'enemies' in my class)
They are envious of me and try to spread tales saying we are a pair
I told him bout it and he agreed that we become god brother and sister
I told him not to have anymore god sister unless she is not sort of rebellious
I jus wanna have a elder bro for myself I dun wan share with other people

My mum only treat me better in someway and sometimes
she thought tat I wont notice that she is baised towards my bro oso
Am I that 'Stupid' to her?
She told me do not retaliate when my bro beat me up and inform her of it
Do I dont retaliate and just get beat up by my bro?besides he is younger than me!
Anyway she just say to my bro
'why you wanna beat your sis?Dont you noe you cant do that?Next time dont do it again.'
I told her he wont listen but she never listen to what I say(cause Im not important)

I almost got run over by a car & my parents oni cares if I demanded the driver for $$ anot!!!
Thats my 2nd time almost got run over.
1st time was when Im 9yrs old after swimming lesson
I felt as though Im supposed to be dead(May be Im really dead)
Everybody cant sense my presence in their heart.
I can sort of predict whats going to happen jz like Maths(1+1=2)
People are jz like a plant observe them and you will noe what will happen
But somehow I cant predict or control certain matters(or may be its my mind not me?)
Eg.I wanna say or do something but said or do another things
For drama series on TV I exactly knew whats going to happen
The drama series are the same with the others
Oni the settings and characters are different

I wanted to end my life but Im afraid to die
Im afraid of darkness
In fact Im afraid of everything but I wanna run away from reality
I tell myself dont be afraid at most I jz get scared by myself to death
And I no need to kill myself in my own hands anymore

Im a crybaby
When something goes wrong(to me) and I gonna confess
Tears jus come running out of my eyes
I cant control myself(in fact I really can.Perhaps I dont wanna face myself)
When Im angry or sad or watever
I jus hide in my bed on vent all my anger(sometimes by giving the walls heavy punch)
And I would have sudden moodswings(somehow Im able to control it except at home)
When I not agitated I would felt my hands hurts alot by oni giving gentle punch
When I eat food(spicy,sour) I wont feel anything
But somehow my nose jus starts dripping whenever I ate spicy food
But I dont really feel its spicy!!!

My mum always say that I use alot toilet paper to wipe away my mucus
It's not my fault.You think I like having such nose?
I hate it dripping like hell when I dun even feel cold
Why does my father inherit this nose to me!
I felt akward in front of other people when it drip none stop!
I wanna chop away my nose!!!
Sometimes on hotdays I will feel COLD and my nose will drip & I perspire!

Im different from others
You wont predict what I will do even if you observe
When I say Im alright means Im alright(in fact Im not alright in someways at sometimes)
But I really need alot love(concern for frenz & family & people around me)
Everybody is special & important & eye sore to me in some ways

Why is this world sooooo unfair
It's unfair right from the start!

Am I going to survive?
I wont let myself die
I must have the last laugh
I sure can write 1000words essay